If You Buy Your Wife a Chicken

If you buy your wife a chicken, she’ll inevitably need a coop.

If you build your wife a coop, she will need some feed.

If you think ground feed is too expensive, you need to buy a tractor, corn planter, grain drill, and combine.

If you plant too much grain to feed the chickens, she’ll ask for some pigs.

If you buy your wife some pigs, she’ll want a sturdy fence to keep them safe.

If you build her a fence, she’ll need a bigger shed to shelter all the animals in winter.

If you expand the shed, she’ll decide it’s the perfect place for a turkey.

If you bring home a turkey, she’ll need special feed and a cozy spot for it to roost.

If you set up the perfect roost, she’ll think a garden nearby would help with fresh veggies for the animals.

If you help her plant a garden, she’ll ask for a greenhouse to start seeds early.

And when the greenhouse is filled, she’ll bake you a fresh pie and bring it out to the shed—

where you’ll both watch the chickens, pigs, and the turkey,

and she’ll mention that what would really make it perfect is…

another chicken.

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