Do you trust your instincts?
I didn’t expect my hardest lesson about trusting instincts to come during childbirth.
As my water broke, my body began shaking uncontrollably. Fear surged through me. Few experiences test someone’s connection to their body like giving birth. Yet at that moment, I felt detached during a process that should have felt natural. Panic and doubt quickly took over.
That wave of fear changed me. It became a wake-up call. Over the last six years, I’ve worked hard at tuning into my body through relaxation, meditation, and breath work. When I gave birth again four years later, the difference was striking: things moved quickly, peacefully, and with far fewer interventions.
Looking back, I realize it wasn’t just culture urging me to ignore discomfort. A trusted adult in my life was often swept up by stress and overwhelm. In their presence, I learned to mute my own signals and silence myself to keep the peace. My world equated strength with suppressing vulnerability. I silenced my body’s warnings—hunger, exhaustion, emotional pain—hoping to avoid conflict or disappointment.
I vividly remember one afternoon when I was a child. My body begged for rest, but fear of this person’s anger forced me to push through. Through the years, I learned to swallow discomfort and hide my feelings until they would inevitably erupt. Only later did I understand how both external pressures and witnessing this person lost in overwhelm taught me to silence my own instincts.
Motherhood transformed this learned behavior. I wanted to show my son and daughter something better: a model of recognizing emotions and meeting my needs before they escalated. I let my inner voice soften. Strength gained a new meaning—one tied to vulnerability and presence. Slowly, my approach to my children’s emotions shifted. I now sit quietly beside my frustrated son, breathing calmly while his storm slowly fades. I practice this daily: mindfulness through challenge, for their feelings and mine.
Today, I’m more attuned to myself, though this work is ongoing. Emotional waves still come, sometimes fierce. Recently, during a tense day at work, I paused before reacting. I closed my eyes and let my body feel the tension, watching the discomfort roll in and drift away. Breath and awareness anchor me. Trusting myself isn’t about perfection—it’s about persistence. Each mindful moment deepens my instincts. They’re quiet, but always there, guiding me through calm and chaos.
This journey has taught me that self-trust is more complex than just “following your gut.” It calls for vulnerability, breaking old patterns, and challenging the notion that ignoring your own needs is strength. Now, I’m learning to nurture a kinder relationship with myself—body, mind, and heart.
That’s the legacy I strive to leave for my children: the confidence to listen deeply and kindly to their own voices.
Have you ever silenced your instincts to meet others’ expectations?
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